Today we feature a post by Sunshine After the Storm contributor Starr Bryson, of The Insomniac’s Dream. Starr is a powerful writer and although this story is not about her grief as a mother, it is about the loss of a dear friend, and her visit to his grave site.
Thank you Starr for sharing this moment in your grief journey.
Road to Arizona: The Day the Music Died
No, no, I could do this. I needed to do this.
I emerged from the car and stood among the dead with the hot sun blaring down on me. The Tinys had wandered away, reading names on the headstones. The Gamer stood next to me, our eyes met, and with a nod we clasped hands and silently walked towards where our friend lay in his final resting place.
After losing our way all day, once we were in the cemetery we knew exactly where to go. How could we not remember where we had stood four years ago to say goodbye to Nate?
“There it is,” The Gamer pointed.
The tears I had been fighting won the battle and my heart shattered over Nate’s death all over again.
The Tinys came over and joined hands with us to form a solid line of support, and we approached a most beautiful monument to a most wonderful person.
I was brought back to another day, four years ago. Tiny Bard on my left, The Gamer on my right while we mourned the tragic death of our friend. Holding each other up and offering support.
We stood in the present, now four of us, huddled together and cried.
When I’d had my visual fill, we snapped some photos.
I sat on the grass in front of the headstone, “Hi, Nate.” I put my head down and cried out my pain. The Gamer and The Tinys knelt next to me. The boys held my hands, The Gamer put his arm around me.
Finally, I stood. “I’m so glad someone was here for the anniversary,” I motioned to the flowers.
Thank you Starr for the beautiful words and for
loving my son. I love him and miss him so much. My symbol of Nate is a yellow butterfly.
Butterflies are a symbol I use for my daughter too. xoxo ~Alexa
Sheila! How on Earth did I miss your comment? Thank you so much for reading my words about Nate. He meant the world to so many of us and I still feel his loss every day. I always think about him when I see yellow butterflies. Always.
<3
-Starr
Thank you for sharing this information here. I really hope it helps someone who needs it.
My third child, second son, (Franklin) was my loss….no, our loss. I wanted my son so badly. Like my brothers, Franklin & my son Vincent were only eleven months apart (Irish twins) which I always wanted. It rocked me to the core. My two children Ginger & Vincent & their Nana celebrate his birthday (due date) October 31, every year since the loss, with a cupcake; and each sending him a love you & miss you wish. I was only able to join them in the celebration these last few years. I’m so, so sorry for your loss, Lizzi!! What you’ve done with your loss of Jesse is positive and will help others who have suffered this kind of pain! I’ve just purchased my copy of your book & can’t wait to read it. I will then be sure, to pass it along to anyone else who can use this message. xoxo <3 Sharing now 😉
Thank you so very much for purchasing the book and for sharing it. We certainly hope that it brought you comfort. xoxo