My husband and I have always said that in a way, if we had to lose a child, our situation was the best case scenario. We knew she was so sick from 20 weeks in the pregnancy. We knew she had little to no chance of survival if born alive. We had time to prepare ourselves for her passing. We had two days to see her and talk to her. And then she left.
It did not hurt any less, but we were able to prepare. Most parents who lose a baby or infant are not so blessed. I cannot imagine the shock of losing a perfectly healthy newborn to SIDS. But it happens often.
It happened to Starr. Starr writes about her Tiny Angel in our book, Sunshine After the Storm. Tiny Angel died on this day in 1998. He was just over two months old.
She has written a beautiful piece on her website, The Insomniac’s Dream, in memory of her Tiny Angel today. I hope you’ll visit her post, In Honor of Tiny Angel.
I still think mine’s the ‘best case scenario’ (if there’s ever such a thing with regard to losing a child) – before I barely even knew they existed. If only, if only it was true that it mattered less. And if only it wasn’t so tied up with the possibility of never having another…
Would I swap? To lose a child so very, very painfully – to have them ripped away from my life once established there, and having known them and loved them – but with the blessing of more? Or to live half a life, as a NeverMom…
It’s all just shit.
Losing kids sucks. The end.